Two Sides of the Same Coin
by Rukia-K1
Summary: To her I am Lea; to him I am Axel. To myself, I am two sides of the same coin. I loved her first; I loved him second. She means a lot and is to be my wife; He is my lover and the one I want to stick by. Axel. Lea. Who am I really? Do I really care for him? Doesn't he love me…or…does he just want me to be happy because he believes he is still nobody... AkuRoku
1. Axel, Lea, Confusion

_A/n: Well, I got this idea earlier and I thought, why not try it? I hope this goes well...my KH stories never seem to get anywhere. And it bugs me...anyways here is the story:_

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**_Two Sides of the Same Coin 01_**

**_Axel...Lea...Confused...?_**

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_To her I am Lea; to him I am Axel. To myself, I am two sides of the same coin. I loved her first; I loved him second. She means a lot and is to be my wife; He is my lover and the one I want to stick by. Axel. Lea. Who am I really? Do I really care for him? Why does he keep running off anyways? Doesn't he love me…or…does he just want me to be happy because he believes he is still nothing but a Nobody? AkuRoku._

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Axel Pov:

"Lea...Lea come on wake up..." A soft voice murmured into my ear. I groaned and moved a bit, trying to remember what happened to me. Oh yes, I saved Sora, no I really was saving _him_, right? Yeah. I _think _that is what I did, I can't remember. Who is Lea? Oh, right, me. My old name...I knew that, but I didn't think anyone knew that name sept for...Saix anymore. "Lea...Come on wake up..." I opened my eyes slowly and groaned, blinking a few times to make sure that I was actually awake.

There was a girl above me, looking down at me. She smiled when I opened my eyes and hugged me tightly. She sighed in relief and then shook her head a little bit. "Lea...Where have you been for the past few years? I've been so worried about you..." She closed her eyes. "Now you're finally back..." She sighed and snuggled into me lightly. I was confused... But then I smiled and then sighed softly.

"You could say I was living another life..." And I was living another life in reality...but I don't know if that was real or not anymore...waking here like this. She smiled and then chuckled, running a hand over the bottom of my eye and sighing.

"When did you get these now Lea?" She asked and chuckled. "You're Mum and Pa won't be pleased that you have a tattoo here...or this Roman numeral..." She ran a hand over his chest where VIII sat, telling him that his other self was no joke...and both were real. "It's...hot though you know...a guy with tattoos...perfect for the man I'm going to marry."

Wait. What?

* * *

Roxas Pov:

The last thing I remember was looking through Sora's eyes...and watching Axel fade away. It hurt me, more so with what he said. _He was the only one I liked...he made me feel like I had a heart._ I made him feel that way, and he made me feel that way. I felt like I did have a heart when I was around him...it felt so right... But now, he was gone, and I had no idea where I was. I sighed softly and got up, my head hurt. Also, I wasn't inside of Sora any longer. It appeared I was my own person. I shook my head then headed down the street. Where was I? I didn't have any idea, and it sucked.

"Ah, are you lost?" A sweet woman walked up to me. She had red hair that flowed to her mid-back, and the smile on her lips reminded me of Axel. Axel. I missed him already. I didn't want to speak…so I nodded and sighed softly. She frowned then and put her hand on my shoulder. "So many children keep ending up like you. Come with me, my husband and I help children find they're parents."

"I don't have any." I forced myself to say and she frowned not liking that apparently. She sighed and then kissed my forehead; a manner I believed was directed to calm me. She nodded then led me along, and honestly, I couldn't complain with it. I was more so worried about what was happening. What happened to Sora? Finally I heard her ask me something and I looked at her and frowned lightly. "No, I can't remember who they are. I do know who I am though. My name is Roxas." That was it. I sighed and then blinked as she led me into a home. It was rather plain, but it was nice. I spotted a man who…wow…he looked like Axel.

"Marina, who is this?" The man asked and then smiled at me. "Hello, my name is Rukon…" He held out his hand and I hesitantly shook it. Well…that was an odd name…both of them had odd names. Marina smiled at her husband, and I looked at them both.

"His name is Roxas, but he's not like the others dear. He's orphaned, doesn't even know who his parents happened to be at all…" Marina sighed softly and ran a hand through my hair. "I was thinking…he could stay here?" She asked and he blinked before nodding. She smiled and hugged me tightly. "Oh Roxas, you'll love it here…" She murmured and sighed softly. "Don't worry, we don't mind after all we have spare rooms here for you to use…" She sighed at that and I blinked some. I nodded before the door went slamming open behind us. She jumped and then sighed. "Kurina dear…" She spoke and turned. "You need to learn not to do that-"

"I found Lea!" The girl named Kurina yelled and smiled. "I found him! He was alive! He's been alive! He looks different but it's Lea!" She cried and smiled. I blinked and moved a bit behind Marina. "I can finally marry him~" She looked lost in a fantasy. She was happy though, and smiled. "Lea~ come on~ You're Mum and Pa are sure to want to see you~" I heard a grumble, and then the last person I expected to see walked in.

Our eyes locked.

"Axel-?"

"-Roxas?"

* * *

3rd Person:

They stared at each other for a long moment, not sure what to say. The others in the room were confused, but yet, none of them said anything. Roxas swallowed and he looked at Axel, he was pretty sure it was him but…at the same time he wasn't. Finally, the person that the girl called Lea spoke. "Roxas…is that…really you?" He whispered and well, Roxas knew then, this was Axel. He swallowed and nodded. The other smiled weakly before hugging him close. "Roxas…I thought I would never…" He trailed off and sighed contently. "Roxas…"

"…L-lea?" Marina finally spoke and he looked up. She sighed. "Oh Lea, it is you…then…who is Axel?" She murmured and well, that created an awkward place between them. Axel swallowed and then said.

"Ah, well…that's hard to explain…" He said and then chuckled some. "But yeah…Axel…another part of me?" He said then paused. "I hit my head you see, forgot I was Lea and so I was Axel! Got it memorized?" He smiled and then Roxas rolled his eyes before the girl named Kurina hugged Axel and snuggled close. He looked uneasy but he didn't argue with her. It hurt Roxas… He smiled though and moved back.

"Then you know Roxas here? I found him wandering around earlier…he says he doesn't have any parents and he doesn't have anywhere to go...Do you know who his parents are…?" Marina asked and Axel blinked.

"Kid doesn't have any." Axel replied. "As far as I recollect he has been staying where I have been and some others. Then he up and vanished." He shrugged. "No one knew where he went." Roxas saw the pain in his expression, but no one else seemed to notice it…good. Roxas smiled weakly then looked down. Axel was Lea, Lea was Axel…and Axel belonged here. He hurt, he realized that, his heart hurt, because he knew he had one with this much pain in his chest.

"Oh…that's sad…" Marina said and patted my shoulder. "Well you can stay here, I'm sure Lea won't mind, and Kurina either… Anyways, Kurina come on we need to start planning for the wedding…" And that was what made Roxas hurt the most. He clenched the fabric before his heart and closed his eyes. Axel was going to marry this girl…

"…Mum, no." Axel spoke and Roxas looked up at him. "Not right now, not for a while. I just got back, and as far as I know, I want to make sure I actually love her." That one hurt Kurina who then said.

"Why? Why do you have to think that you love me? You told me you loved me before you vanished that day!" She cried and Axel closed his eyes. He shook his head some and sighed.

"Kurina, I loved you then, not now. Get that right!" Axel snapped then. "As Axel I fell in love with someone else, and I don't know what to think! You try having two people telling you what you like and what you don't like! Inside of your mind! You don't get it!" He sighed and then closed his eyes again. "Besides, I'm not marrying anyone until I know what the hell is going on here…" He muttered.

Roxas was silent, but he was looking down. _Axel…you'd be happy with her…after all I'll probably leave you again and you know it…so why not just marry her? Forget what I feel… You're a somebody now, but me…I'm still a nobody… _He took a shaky breath and looked at Axel who was arguing with his dad about it. He smiled weakly before he moved past them all, thankfully the door was still open. He glanced back at them and then closed his eyes. _"You deserve the one you loved first over me…because you will only have a heart break if you go with me…" _He bit his lip before slipping out of the home, unnoticed, of course. He closed his eyes and sighed as he walked away.

Until, he heard footsteps and he saw swung around. Axel was looking right into his eyes, looking upset. Roxas bit his lip before he was kissed. Eyes closed and he groaned. Axel…why was he? He loved him…Roxas loved him so much but…Axel had a chance with someone other than him! That would probably love him more than he could ever but…still…Axel had found he was gone in a second and chased after him again.

"Don't…go…stop running away…from me…" Roxas paused then smiled at Axel, he didn't want to run…but he wanted the best for Axel…which he knew now, it wasn't him. Another kiss, this one was harsher than the last one, but it told Roxas that…Axel cared for him, more than he would ever understand.

"…Axel…I…"

Another kiss. A sealing kiss.

"Stop running."

"…I won't, as long as you promise to keep loving me…"

"…" No words and Roxas flinched, but Axel then sighed. "I want to, but you never know what will h-"

"I get it…I'm a nobody…she's a somebody, you're a somebody…" Roxas lightly pushed him away, trying not to show his hurt feelings. "…it's simple, I can't love you with a heart, but she can…then stop leading me on!" He cried and looked down. "You just…why…"

"Roxas…you don't get it…I'm two people, it's confusing…"

"Oh really? I was two people and you didn't get it either…"

"Roxas I'm sorry…"

"Are you really or are you just telling me that so I will stay?"

A kiss, tender, sweet, and it pulled him closer. "I'm two sides of the same coin...and two different things are in my heart…you're not a nobody Roxas…you're your own person…and I love you…" That was all Roxas needed to hear to kiss Axel back and moving closer to him. It was odd, he was feeling like he was just bound to get stuck in a web or words and lies. But...maybe he could show Axel that he was Axel, and not Lea... Lea was not Axel, that was his somebody...and if Axel was still him then...he would love him...right? He was confused with his own logic, but it sounded right.

"I love you to Axel..."

* * *

Unknown to the two boys... Kurina was watching them, and she was hurting inside. Lea was her love, not the blonde's. She couldn't let this happen! Lea loved her, and only her!


	2. Heartless

_A/n: Ch.2_

_She was going to marry him. That heartless boy couldn't have him. He was hers._

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**_Two Sides of the Same Coin 02_**

**_Heartless_**

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_To her I am Lea; to him I am Axel. To myself, I am two sides of the same coin. I loved her first; I loved him second. She means a lot and is to be my wife; He is my lover and the one I want to stick by. Axel. Lea. Who am I really? Do I really care for him? Why does he keep running off anyways? Doesn't he love me…or…does he just want me to be happy because he believes he is still nothing but a Nobody? AkuRoku._

* * *

Roxas Pov:

I stand there with Kurina as she tells me things I wish not to hear. I don't like it, I actually hate it. It hurts me. "You can never love him. He will never love you! He loves me...and he always will... Lea is never Axel... Axel is _no one _just like _you._"

* * *

I watched Axel and another interact, he apparently knew Axel...well Lea anyways. I didn't take kindly to the name you know, because he wasn't his somebody...he was my Axel. Or I hoped anyways. He went by Axel and Lea, which...bugged me you know? I loved him, but he had the tendency to make me mad easily lately. He had a heart. I didn't...and...he still...felt emotions I could not feel and told me about them. How many times have I thought about him being with someone that felt his love? Too many times...

"Roxy~" I jumped as I found his face right in front of mine. He chuckled then leaned in and kissed me on the lips softly. I blushed and smiled, kissing back. Emotions. How I wished I could really feel this, like he did. "Hmn, you really need to stop spacing out or someone else will come by and pluck you up~" He was so cheerful, not the Axel I knew. This was Lea... It was not the person I loved by far, this was another person that looked like him.

"...yeah..." I looked down and I felt a hand on my face. I didn't want to react at all, because...because...well...I don't know. I just don't feel that Axel is really there anymore, and that...with Axel going away...so is his love of me. Then again, I'm a shell...a doll sitting on a shelf. I have no heart, and I have no...well I just have no way to make this feel right...because I am heartless. Yet, I can feel the steady beat of his heart against my body. I cringe, not wanting to think about it because...it makes me feel so heartless. Why...why does this have to happen to me?

"Roxy..." His touch is soft and he leans in to kiss me before he stops. He is gazing into my eyes. "Roxas...do you love me?" He murmured and I flinched, a feeling. He wanted me to tell him exactly how he felt...and Axel knew my words were empty from feeling. So now... I closed my eyes slowly. I didn't know what to do or to say to him. What was I supposed to do or say? I mean...really. "Roxas...can you...really love me?" I flinched.

"I...I don't know..."

"Then I don't want to be with you."

* * *

I jerked up and covered my eyes, panting softly. A dream, a firkin dream. Thank god. I was worried there for a long moment that it was real and Axel didn't want me...want to be near me. It hurt, and I didn't understand why it happened to hurt when I was heartless. I was so confused...and honestly, I didn't know what to think about it at all anymore. I glanced over at Axel who was sleeping next to me in the bedroom we had together. I smiled weakly and laid down next to him. He was warm as I snuggled into him. Good...I could sleep then. Hopefully there were going to be no bad dreams again...

"Axel...I love you so much..."

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Axel Pov:

I don't know why, but I just have a sinking feeling about everything. I hold my love close and sighed softly. I don't know what to think about it, but I know he feels like something is wrong as well. I don't know what could cause it, but I had the bad feeling that my supposed _fiancé _had something to do. I don't like her at all, but my Mother and Father have pretty much sold me off to her. Of course, I refuse to marry her, because I love...I really love Roxas. Even if he can't feel his love...well no maybe he does. After all... I mean he used to feel things when we were together before... It worries me…

"Axel...I love you so much..."

He thinks I'm asleep but I'm good with that. I love him as well. He lays next to me and holds me tight. I know he is seeking warmth by the way he holds me like he used to. I smile, and roll over to look at him. He is so sweet and innocent, he knows not much about this whole thing. I don't want him to worry about anything and I just want to hold him close to me and not think about a thing that could go wrong.

"Lea honey, time for us to get up." My mother's voice rang through my ears and I sighed. Great…just great… I didn't want to get up much less wake Roxas up who was still sleeping in my arms. I held him close and ran a hand through his hair as my mother walked in. She sighed and shook her head. "Really, Lea, you have to get up sometime. It's eleven am!" She complained and I frowned. "Besides your Father has made lunch and it's ready."

"Fine-" I was stopped when Kurina peaked in and smiled at me.

"Lea dear~" The way she said that made me cringe and I also growled a little bit. I hated that, she was just getting on my nerves. How did I ever love her? I don't know anymore, but I know now that it's all over. "Lea come on~ We still have a wedding to plan you know~." She murmured and I growled at her.

"How. Many. Times. Do. I. Have. To. Tell. You. That. I. Am. Not. Marrying. You." Each word, a pause between because he was trying his best not to yell at her. It was a deep growled reply though because he hated it, just hated it. She frowned at me and then shook her head some.

"Lea come on. You promised when we were young children that you would and you are supposed to!" She pouted and I rolled my eyes, sighing. "Lea…why did you vanish and now act like…this? You loved me not that heartless little jerk!" She cried and I growled for that. My grip tightened around Roxas.

"I don't like you!" I hissed at her. "Roxas isn't heartless no matter what you say, at least not to me. I love him and that is pretty much enough for me! I don't care if he is heartless or not! I still love him more than I love you, than I will ever love you!" She was hurt, but I could care less honestly. I kissed Roxas then to just really tick her off, thinking he was asleep. I didn't know how wrong I was…

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Roxas Pov:

Axel didn't know I was awake and I know that. I was hurt though, aching inside as I heard the words that came from Kurina's mouth. She could care less and I know it, she wanted me gone. Maybe Axel didn't think I was heartless...but I did. I took a deep breath once he sat up, still arguing before he walked of after her, they were still arguing as they left. I sat up and noticed Axel's mom was still there. She sighed and patted my head before following them. She didn't approve, she never would, and neither did her husband. They wanted Axel to be with that girl... Not with me… Because I was a nothing but a Nobody… Heartless.

"We have no hearts, thus we cannot feel…"

No hearts. Heartless. No feeling… No love.

I get up and get dressed back in my cloak. "I'm sorry...Axel...maybe you are better off without me...nothing but a Heartless person...a Nobody..." I clench my fists as a single tear leaves my eyes. "She keeps hurting me like this...and you...you can't help me... Why am I saying this? He isn't Axel anymore... He's Lea...but he doesn't see it... She's right. He is someone now and not...no one like Axel was..."

* * *

_There is a looking pond where I look into and I honestly don't know what to do._

_ I see two versions of myself._

_ Axel._

_ Lea._

_I am both, but I'm not._

_I'm two sides of the same coin._

_One loves Kurina._

_One loves Roxas._

_One is a Somebody._

_One is a Nobody._

_One has a heart._

_One does not have a heart._

_One can feel._

_One cannot._

_One is a normal person._

_One kills..._

_One has family._

_One has no family._

_I'm two sides of the same coin...and I don't know what to do about it anymore._


End file.
